Build a Family Like You Build a Lego Castle
by drunk-terminator
Summary: But make sure not to name family members like you name Lego men. Your toys don't mind being called Dia and Block, but your children do. ONE-SHOT


**So I_ finally_ did this one. After over three months of procrastination and lack of motivation I finished it. Do I really need to do that standard disclaimer before we begin with the actual story? Isn't it obvious that I'm not gorilla enough to own Gintama and its characters? It is. **

**So, the story.**

* * *

They say that great power comes with great responsibility. People are given the power to have a child, and for doing so they should be well aware about the moral obligation that comes with parenthood. It's assumed that every person who is willing to become a parent knows one of the most basic rules about having a child: give the kid a decent name.

During his nine years of existence, there wasn't a single day Block didn't wonder how things went so wrong for him. He tried to understand. He truly did. _That's a long story_, his parents used to say. He had all the time in the world to hear them out, but instead they just looked at each other and smiled, secretly enjoying an old memory. Oh, but they weren't the only ones hiding things from him. Auntie Kagura, Hinowa, Otae, Sacchan. The closest he got form an answer was when he asked uncle Katsura. He was about tell him, but he had to run to avoid arrest. And none of the Shinsengumi guys who arrived told him the truth. Once he was so desperate he tried asking Hasegawa.

"Do you think your name is bad?" he asked incredulous "I wish I had a bad name. Instead I have a bad life".

He never asked again. But whenever they crossed each other in the street Block heard the old man muttering a few lines like _it's all for the joke's sake. _Or even_ only if young people knew how cruel life can be in comedy mangas_. He avoided him since then.

The closest and most frequent target for questions was his sister. Poor Dia, heard almost every day his brother complaining and asking over and over again the same tiresome questions. After one particular bad day he decided to get back to the same issue they discussed over a million times already.

"Does your name bother you?"

Dia rolled her eyes, paying more attention to the ice cream she was having.

"Seriously?" she asked. "We discussed this topic last week".

"I think I'm gonna ask mom and dad about that" he said.

"Good for you" she enjoyed her ice cream for a while before talking again. She sounded indifferent, but inside she was crying of happiness and thinking _finally_. "I told you already, if you keep quiet they will keep doing bad things to you".

Easy for her to say. She never had the mocking problem at school. She always had a comeback ready, never seemed bothered. Their classmates tried to make fun of her for the first two weeks. After that short period they gave up, it was no use. Dia was the cool kid in the class, even having a cursed name.

But things were different with Block. Even if he developed the ability to come up with comebacks he would not be able to verbalize them. Dia confronted him once about that. _If you are so bothered you could at least ask someone to help you_, she said. But he had no desire to ask for help too. Not that he was proud - he wasn't. He considered talking to his parents more than once, but every time he got close to do it he gave up.

It was only a matter of time until the insults became so frequent he began believing his name were actually terrible - before joining school he was okay with it. But now he thought about that more often, and came to a conclusion that _Block_ made no sense at all. The only option he saw to minimize his problem was approach their parents about the issue, and pray for being a good reason behind his name.

~x~

The smell of his father's cooking soon filled his nose, making his stomach send him a reminder that he was hungry. He ignored the rush to join his family and have a nice lunch, he had an important task.

There were they, his parents. Tsukuyo standing close to the couch, in all her beautiful glory, wearing her typical black clothes with that usual discrete strawberry sell; Gintoki in the kitchen, finishing their meal. His stance was not as glorious as hers, but yeah, it was something. The best he could get of a lazy man with horrible hair who still wore his pajamas at that time of the day.

"Mom, mind if I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

His intentions were serious and he sought legit answers. Nothing more appropriate than approach his mom, who was naturally more serious, to clarify things for him. She paid attention to him before she started her meal.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked.

"This is important, so be sincere, please. Where-" he paused for a second - there was still a chance to give up. Being as afraid of the answer as he was, he had second thoughts. He captured his sister's eyes staring deeply at him, giving him an incentive. Swallowing and already regretting his persistence, he finished that sentence. "Where does our names come from?"

An awkward atmosphere rose around her. It felt like a dark aura emanated from her, gradually spreading across the room until reaching Block and giving him a shiver, as if he asked a forbidden question.

"That is a sensitive topic, son" Tsukuyo said. "It is… an incident you father and I were involved. You might want to take a seat before listening".

Block swallowed once again, doing as she said.

"There was this one time" she began, "when your dad and I had to-".

"Wait over there" Gintoki said, interrupting them.

Block cursed. He heard them. The last thing he wanted at the moment was his father being… his father. Unable to take something serious, always making jokes and references that, sometimes, no one at all understood.

"Don't tell me you are actually planning to tell him this way" he said. "We need a flashback, Tsukki. Flashbacks are always cooler. How disappointed people would be if they had to read your boring explanation?"

"I don't think you were supposed to say that" she said.

"I'm not supposed to do a lot of things, but breaking the fourth wall definitely is not one of them".

Without further discussion, he sat closer to them and begun his so called forth-wall-breaking flashback. He chose a specific moment that not related to the origin of the names at all, more like the day their names were sealed into fate.

~x~

_There were times they would feel so bored they would talk about their lives. What they had for breakfast, what they would do next Friday night, a funny childhood experience. Sometimes even about their future – you see, even them were mature if they tried. During one particular winter night, the weather was so cold they found themselves unable to sleep. They gathered a few blankets they had and spent the night drinking the tea Gintoki made for them. They talked about many things during the next hours, but one special subject was relevant._

"_If we ever have kids, how will we name them?" Tsukuyo asked._

_He was not expecting that. Not that he disliked the thought, no! It just… came out of nowhere. To be fair, he thought about that once or twice before._

"_After our fictional children, obviously" he said._

_After taking a few sips of her tea she finally understood his suggestion._

"_You mean Dia and Block?" _

"_What other fictional children do we have?"_

"_Gintoki, you can't name our kids like that, they will be bullied at school"._

"_Of course they won't!" he said with the most confident face a human being ever made. "My kids will totally be the cool kids."_

"_Well, you can always dream."_

_He couldn't believe her. The look on his face was from utter hurt, she insulted him on unspeakable levels. There were a lot of things he was ready to expect from her, but insulting his choice of names… unacceptable. From that moment on, things went downhill._

"_Let's make a bet, then" he said. "Twins, boy cursed with blonde natural perm, girl blessed with silver straight hair. If I'm right I choose their names"._

"_Listen to what you are saying" she said. "That is not how genetics works"._

"_Don't be naive, Tsukki, fiction doesn't take genetics that serious. There is this greater will we call fan service, which makes my hint not only possible, but obvious"._

_At the moment the idea seemed so ridiculous she accepted without second thoughts. She even dared to laugh, and later people laughed with her as she told them the story. A few years later everyone's jaw dropped when the kids were born. There was no need to introduce the newborns, both their names and appearance were already know by the time they saw the huge victorious grin on Gintoki's face._

~x~

Story told, it was not hard to imagine what was going on inside Block's head. Gintoki and Tsukuyo expected him to be angry, shout, tell them how stupid they were, run away from home and return only for dinner, still not talking to them. Instead he stared at their faces for a long time, long enough for them to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"That is all?" he asked. "Am I named after a bet?"

He heard enough. He had a reason to prefer talking to his mom instead of his dad, she was serious about his problems. And when he realized his biggest problem was because of a stupid suggestion his father gave… enough. He stood up and headed to the door. He wanted to be alone and think for a moment. Before leaving he turned back, staring at the closest person to the door. He said five simple words in soft voice, almost inaudible, loud enough only for only his father to hear:

"Dad...you are the worst".

And then he left, without further explanations. Not that he needed any. Tsukuyo soon stood up, following him. Dia went to her room, leaving a note on her father's lap. And Gintoki… well. That is not something you are supposed to hear from your own son.

After only a few minutes Tsukuyo found him sitting on the margin of the river, next to the wooden bridge.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked without ceremonies.

Block looked back, a bit surprised about his mom being there. She sat by his side and both of them watched the water flow, going back and forth, wetting the gravel a bit ahead of them.

"Why are you blaming only your dad?" she asked again, and would keep making question after question, until he talked back. Usually she was not bothered by his introvert ways, but sometimes she had to insist and make him open up.

"Because he was the one who suggested" he said, after a long time wondering if the subject was worth discussing "I can only talk to you, mom. He is _always _making fun, how can he help me if he ever says nothing serious?"

Tsukuyo smiled and messed Block's hair. That is, made a bit worse than its natural state. She had the opportunity to see Gintoki serious too many times, more than she would like. If Block had any idea of the relief she felt for living peacefully for entire nine years… well, he was not supposed to know, anyway. He had the right to ask, and she the obligation to answer.

"Block, we are not supposed to know everything" she said "you never told him you don't like that, did you? If you did I'm sure he would be serious with you. He can be like that".

Indeed, never once he complained about Gintoki's attitude. He usually said things were okay and no one would ask him any more questions. For the first few times they discovered him and made him talk, but soon he became a good actor and distinguish truth from lie became difficult. Block admitted he was to blame too. Yet, there was no plausible explanation for _Dia _and_ Block_.

"Let me tell you a secret" Tsukuyo said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Every parent is selfish. And you know why? The moment our kids are born we name them with whatever name we think is nice. We don't even wait until they grow to ask them how they wish to be called".

"Well, he did a bit wrong, right?" he interrupted her "Block is not even cool".

"Stop saying _he_, it's _us_. I agreed with him" he looked away, refusing to believe she was also part of this. Ignoring his disbelieve, she kept talking. "As I was saying, we name them after whatever we want. But you know something, we don't just pick a random name." That made him curious. So she finished her statement with the exact words he was looking for all along. "We choose something meaningful to us".

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice trembling in hopeful excitement.

She smiled that gentle smile of hers and stood up. So that was the problem: with such uncommon name, he wanted it to at least mean something.

"We can tell you if you want to know. Not about the bet, but the story itself" she said. "But wait until your dad is with us. After all, he is pretty good with funny stories".

Block smiled. He had to agree with her in this one.

"Don't come home too late".

She headed to the bridge, straight back home. After all, there was another perm-head to talk to. But before being too far for Block to hear her, she asked something she had in mind for a while now.

"Are you sure there is nothing else bothering you?"

She understood _Block_ was not the best of the names. He also had reasons to be upset, but if there was one thing she was certain it was that Block was a calm kid and would never get to the point he did. Telling that to Gintoki, that is. Yes, she heard him. And supposed there was a really good reason for blaming only one person and more importantly – saying what he did. There must be something he was hiding, otherwise he had no reason to be so harsh.

"Yeah!" he answered a bit too slow, looking surprised at her "What else could be?"

And that was everything she needed to hear.

~x~

When you know someone for long enough, you don't need words anymore. Take them, for example. When she said she had another perm-head to talk she hasn't actually meant talk. She arrived home, told him "let's have some _dango_" and here they were. Enjoying their snacks, not talking at all. They were regular clients there. They made the best _dango, _and the convenience store by the corner made it easy to supply his strawberry milk needs. Tsukuyo knew all along about his passion for both foods, and as soon as she learned about this place she began taking him there whenever he felt down. She supposed this was one of those occasions.

"Look at this" Gintoki said, breaking the silence between them. He handed Tsukuyo a small note with her daughter handwriting "Dia gave me this after you left".

She took the paper, looking at what was written.

"_It is Kenji_" she read and Gintoki nodded. Since Block was not willing to tell them, Dia did. As she thought, there was something else. "Maybe someone from school".

He sighed, resting his empty _dango_ stick on the little plate by his side. He looked at no specific direction, displaying his usual dead fish eyes.

"What a fateful night, that one" he said "I guess their looks and you guess their future. Geez, I should have listened to you".

And just like that, he blamed himself once again. Tsukuyo considered telling him it was her fault too, telling him "I was the one who created the names". But she knew he would tell her "and I was the one who groped you" and then she would blush and get angry and an unending discussion would begin. They had that conversation already, and it hasn't ended well.

"Regret won't take us anywhere, we should help him" she assured him.

"Like looking for this Kenji guy?" he said "don't parents usually make things worse? I mean, won't this guy mock Block even more because we had to stand for him?"

Gintoki had no idea about what he should do next. This time there was no "the main character has powers to deduce his kids appearance so he has the power to deal with this situation in the right way" speech.

"Cool your head for now, will ya?" Tsukuyo said knowing he was too worried to think straight "Let's go for a walk, after we calm down we think about what we do next".

He took a last bite, leaving the second stick he ate during their little chat at the same plate he left the first one.

"Just let me get strawberry milk first" he said.

"Sure".

While Tsukuyo paid for their food he disappeared inside the closest convenient store. She kept the change and turned around, heading to the park. Only a few steps later her attention was already somewhere else. There was a group of at least five boys, around Dia and Block's age, walking in the opposite direction. While they crossed ways she heard a few sentences of their conversation.

"I'm telling you" the one who seemed the oldest said "you need to make them respect you".

She was ready to ignore their childish attempt to be respectable people, but -

"You just make them fear you. Like" if that wasn't pathetic enough the boy proceeded to give the others an example of his hostile behavior "there is this boy in my class, Block..."

That was enough to convince her to turn around and touch the boy's shoulder, not as gentle as an adult should if she had intention of respecting the little one.

"What were you talking just now?" she asked "something about Block, you know him?"

The boy and his friends looked bitterly at her, as she was not worthy talking to them.

"Yeah, I do. And who the hell are you?"

"Oh, that is not important. Can I ask you your name?"

The boy wondered if telling her was a good idea. She was one hell of a scary woman. If the look on her face weren't enough, she also used _kunai_ as hair accessories. Who does that? And he was not the smartest person, but he knew something for sure: her hair color was a rare sight around there, and he was sure he saw that same color before on Block's big stupid head.

"It's Ishida Kenji" he said, reluctant.

Tsukuyo thought for a moment before taking her next step. She found the boy sooner than she expected, what she would do next was still unsure. She had an idea in mind, and decided for that a little hesitant. Kenji obviously was not as brave as he told he was. After only a few moments with him she could tell that with ease. But there was still the chance of making everything worse.

"Block talked about you" she told him.

Kenji frowned his eyebrows, and soon he and his friends were laughing.

"Block?" He asked, daring to mock him in front of his mom "that guy is so stupid he had to talk about me with his mommy? How pathetic!"

She resisted the urge to slap the kid. Even knowing the thought was inappropriate, she couldn't help but imagine his reaction.

"Oh, but you are wrong because-" she stopped mid-sentence once she spotted Gintoki - finally - leaving the store "hey Gintoki, over here!"

He saw her and approached them with a confused look. _Why the hell is my wife surrounded of brats? _he thought.

"Oi, what is this?" he said. "This is really weird".

"These guys know Block from school" Tsukuyo said. "This one is Kenji, Block talked about him."

Gintoki understood the situation immediately. Tsukuyo looked at him in that way couples do, when they say something only by looking, so of course he understood. They had a few codes, you know. She looked at him tilting her head, with a trace of smile in her lips. She had intentions to go on with their plan and he was supposed to join her. All that "lets cool down our heads" talk was useless now, their encounter with Kenji happened too fast, he hadn't even time to think about what he should say. His only option was to improvise.

"Oh, that's right" he said, smiling to her. He turned to Kenji and kept talking "lucky you we still can control our kid. You know, he wanted to hit you a few times, just to check if you were still funny after he did".

That was the first thing that came to his mind and honestly – it couldn't be better. Maybe it could, but the point is that he just declared that Block was the one standing for himself, not relying on his parents. There was no reason to mock him even further and Gintoki believed that telling the bully Block was capable of using other ways to stop the mocking would give the boy something to think.

"The damage would be big if we didn't" Tsukuyo soon joined his lie.

Both of them positively shook their heads, approving their crazy and unrealistic story. Kenji didn't share their enthusiasm, though. Deep down he had this feeling he should fear the parents. But not the son, he was positive Block would never hit someone, so:

"You are lying" he said. "That guy wouldn't dare. Besides, I don't think he can beat me. To begin with, how would that guy learn how to fight?"

Not very smart, Gintoki realized. Apparently the _bokutou_ in his belt and the pair of _kunai_ on Tsukuyo's hair were merely fashion accessories. It was not as if his parents gave the impression they knew how to fight or something. They just had great fashion sense.

"Listen here, dude" Gintoki begun. "This lady over here, she can pierce your head with a kunai before you realize what is happening".

"And this guy is something too," Tsukuyo continued quickly, setting a mental note to thank her husband for the attempt of compliment latter "he is one hell of a big name here, one of the greatest swordsmen in Edo, if not the best. If that is not enough, his aunt is a Yato and his uncle runs a dojo".

"That is a lot of people to teach him how to fight, don't you think? And they are not even half" Gintoki was a bit angry at this point.

Needless to say, it was funny to watch the boy's sudden change of expression, from utter confidence to plain fear within seconds. What a triumphant feeling they were having.

"You better be grateful for him not being the dick you are and showing a bit of respect towards you. If you know what is good for you, consider apologizing to him".

Even scared, Kenji was not the kind of person that would allow others to tell him what to do. So young but already so rebel… Gintoki wondered how this kid would be in his teenager years and, for a moment, felt sorry for the trouble his parents would have to face

"Are you threatening me?" the boy said, taking a step closer to Gintoki, convinced his nine-year-old posture was enough to make the man scared. "My uncle is with the joui, he can deal with you all if he wants to".

If his stance weren't enough his uncle position would be, that is what he thought. Instead of surprised, Gintoki shook his head in disbelief, almost laughing.

"So that's it, then." he said "you are just a coward that relies on others when you can't deal with your shit alone ".

He leaned closer and proceeded to whisper a few things in the boy's ear. He smiled, enjoying his words as he spoke. As for Kenji, his eyes went wide and his hands began to betray his brave stance, slight shaking. Once Gintoki said all he wanted it was just a matter of seconds until the boy left, taking all his friends with him.

"What have you told him?" Tsukuyo asked, both curious and surprised. For all she knew he could have talked about his friendship with the Shinsengumi or even his old days being comrades with well-known rebel leaders. Or even the fact that he was kind of a legend during the war. Or knowing him, some gross thoughts that would leave any kid scared. Who knows.

He smiled at her, taking her hand, not really wanting to answer. He still were interested in that walk she talked about before. Tsukuyo kept looking at him even after they started walking. He liked to think she was just admiring his handsome face, but he knew she was waiting for an answer.

"Nothing serious" he said.

~x~

Still sitting by the side of the river, Block watched the sunset as he thought about his mother's words. He was happy about finding out his name had a meaning, and more importantly: he couldn't wait to hear what it was. But he still had a few problems unsolved. Like how he would deal with his classmates from now on, and what he should do about his father.

His fortunate decision to stay a few more minutes helped him solve the remaining mess. Because apparently school wasn't enough anymore, Kenji had to show up to mess with him even now. Block cursed his bad luck at first, but upon closer inspection, Kenji didn't seem ill-intentioned at all. He even dared to thought he was scared… what a crazy thought! Well, not so crazy as Kenji stepped closer, looking down. Even less crazy when he spoke, all insecure and visibly regretting his decision.

"Hey there, Block" he said. And of course, Block had to take a moment to assimilate that this calm and terrified kid was Kenji.

"What do you want?" he said in a way that sounded ruder then he intended. At that point, he swore Kenji was trying his hardest not to take a step back. And if you asked Block, that was weird. Completely weird, out of character and impossible. In two years he hasn't seen Kenji acting this way, and by no ways he understood why he seemed so vulnerable when talking to a guy he used to mock as routine.

"Look," Kenji began "I talked to you dad and he told me you wanted to beat me up and all, but you didn't because you respected me. So… I'm sorry?"

"My dad what?" was his automatic response.

Silence followed for an eternity. Silence would follow forever, because… what? Block saw so many mistakes in that sentence he had no idea where to begin with. That was so surreal he was convinced he was living a dream, he was sure this kind of think don't happen in real life. Kenji's words were really impressive but again… his dad what?

"Your dad and I kind of crossed ways in the street" he explained "and he knew who I was, you told him. And he said you wanted to teach me a lesson but you didn't because you respected me and all and… look, I'm sorry."

Surprised, he realized his dad just fixed his biggest problem. He thought about that for a really long time, leaving Kenji waiting. He wanted to ask more, know every single detail. Learn how scared Kenji was, how much he regretted, and the exact words that made him think that. Instead, he did what he thought was the best, which was offering his hand for a handshake. The other boy thought he would hit him, so he stepped away.

"I'm not hitting you, just want a handshake".

Reluctant, Kenji reached for Block's had.

"Does this mean we are friends now?"

"No," Block said without sympathy "I don't like you. We are making a deal. You and your friends don't bother me anymore and I don't do… whatever my dad told you I would".

Kenji shook his head, agreeing with everything. If Block told him to jump in the river he would, so scared he was.

"One last thing" Block said "if you want to be friends we can try, but next time you ask me not because you are afraid of me, but because you mean it".

And for the fist – and probably last – time in his life, Block saw Kenji without words.

~x~

Later on the same day, when Block arrived home, everyone was a bit surprised when he ran straight to Gintoki and gave him a huge hug. It was a silent moment for everybody in the room, except the closest person to the kid. Because once again he whispered five simple words, once again in a way only Gintoki could hear. And this time said words were way better chosen than the last time.

"Dad, you are the best".

* * *

**Done! Hope you guys liked it. If you've found any absurd mistakes you can blame a)English is not my first language b)my beta. He still haven't sent me the revised version, that useless (just kidding, you are great, man).**

**And now I have three last things to say:**  
**1: this idea is not entirely mine, it's based on a thing algilar-knight posted on Tumblr a while ago**  
**2: if you are wondering what's up with the title there is this toy called Diablock that is basically an alternative version of Lego**  
**and 3: for now I'm leaving this story as complete. Buuuut I like the Dia and Block idea a lot, so if I ever have another good idea I'll probably turn this into a series of one-shots.**

**So yeah, that's it, thank you a lot for reading! :3**


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